“But what if I break my arm again?” my five year-old daughter asked, her lower lip trembling. I knelt holding onto her bike and looked her right in the eyes. I knew how much she wanted to learn to ride. How often she felt left out when her friends pedaled by our house. Yet ever since she’d fallen off her bike and broken her arm, she’d been afraid.

“Oh honey,” I said. “I don’t think you’ll break another arm.”

“But I could, couldn’t I?”

“Yes,” I admitted, and found myself struggling for the right thing to say. At times like this, I wished I had a partner to turn to. Someone who might help find the right words to make my little girl’s problems disappear. But after a disastrous marriage and a painful divorce, I’d welcomed the hardships of being a single parent and had been adamant in telling anyone who tried to fix me up that I was terminally single.

“I don’t think I want to ride,” she said and got off her bike.

We walked away and sat down beside a tree.

“Don’t you want to ride with your friends?” I asked.

“And I thought you were hoping to start riding your bike to school next year,” I added.

“I was,” she said, her voice almost a quiver.

“You know, hon,” I said. “Most everything you do comes with risks. You could get a broken arm in a car wreck and then be afraid to ever ride in a car again. You could break your arm jumping rope. You could break your arm at gymnastics. Do you want to stop going to gymnastics?”

“No,” she said. And with a determined spirit, she stood up and agreed to try again. I held on to the back of her bike until she found the courage to say, “Let’s go!”

I spent the rest of the afternoon at the park watching a very brave little girl overcome a fear, and congratulating myself for being a self-sufficient single parent.

As we walked home, pushing the bike as we made our way along the sidewalk, she asked me about a conversation she’d overheard me having with my mother the night before.

“Why were you and grandma arguing last night?”

My mother was one of the many people who constantly tried to fix me up. How many times had I told her “no” to meeting the Mr. Perfect she picked out for me. She just knew Steve was the man for me.

“It’s nothing,” I told her.

She shrugged. “Grandma said she just wanted you to find someone to love.”

“What grandma wants is for some guy to break my heart again,” I snapped, angry that my mother had said anything about this to my daughter.

“But Mom.”

“You’re too young to understand,” I told her.

She was quiet for the next few minutes. Then she looked up and in a small voice gave me something to think about.

“So I guess love isn’t like a broken arm.”

Unable to answer, we walked the rest of the way in silence. When I got home, I called my mother and scolded her for talking about this to my daughter. Then I did what I’d seen my brave little girl do that very afternoon. I let go and agreed to meet Steve.

Steve was the man for me. We married less than a year later. It turned out mother and my daughter were right.

愛如斷臂

“可我要再把胳膊給摔斷了怎么辦？”我五歲的女兒問道，她的下唇顫抖著。我跪著抓穩了她的自行車，直視著她的眼睛。我很明白她非常想學會騎車。多少次了，她的朋友們踩車經過我們家時，她感到給拋下。可自從上次她從自行車上摔下來，把胳膊給摔斷之后，她對車便敬而遠之。

“噢，親愛的。”我說，“我不認為你會把另一只胳膊給摔斷的。”

“但有可能，不是嗎？”

“是的，”我承認道，使勁想找出些道理來說。每逢此時，我便希望自己有人可依靠。一個可以說出正確道理、幫我的小女兒解決難題的人。可經過一場可悲的婚姻和痛苦的離婚后，我傾向于當個單身母親，并且我還態度堅決地告訴每個要給我介紹對象的人說我要抱定終身不嫁。

“我不想學了。”她說著，下了自行車。

我們走到一旁，坐在一顆樹旁。

“難道你不想和朋友們一起騎車嗎？”我問。

“想。”她承認。

“而且我還以為你希望明年踩著車回去上學呢。”我補充道。

“我是希望。”她說，聲音有點顫。

“知道嗎，寶貝。”我說，“很多要做的事情都是帶有風險的。汽車失事也會折斷胳膊，那么你就算再坐在車上也會害怕。跳繩也有可能折斷胳膊。做體操也有可能折斷胳膊。你連體操也想不練了嗎？”

“不想。”她說。然后她毅然站起，同意再試試。我扶著車尾，直到她有勇氣說：“放手！”

后來一個下午，我就在公園里看著這個有無比勇氣的小女孩克服了恐懼，我恭喜自己成了可以獨當一面的單身家長。

回家時，我們推著自行車順著人行道走，她問起昨天晚上我和我媽媽的一個對話，那是她無意中聽到的。

“你昨晚為什么和姥姥吵？”

我媽媽總是想安排我去相親的許多人中的一個。我多次拒絕去看她給我找的合適對象。她知道史蒂文和我會合得來。

“沒什么事。”我告訴她。她聳聳肩。“姥姥說她只不過想讓你找個人來愛。”

“姥姥想再找個人來傷我的心。”我厲聲說道，很生氣媽媽把這件事跟我的女兒說了。

“可媽媽。”

“你還太小，不明白。”我對她說。

接下來好幾分鐘她都很安靜。然后她抬起頭，小小聲地說了句令我深思不已的話。

“那么我猜愛情和斷胳膊不是一回事了。”

我無言以對，余下的路我們在沉默中走完了。回到家后，我給媽媽打了個電話，責備她不該和我女兒談論這話題。接著我做了一件那個下午看到我那勇敢的小女兒所做過的事。我松口答應和史蒂文見面。

史蒂文正是我的合適人選。大約一年前我們結了婚。結果證明我媽媽和女兒是正確的。